Warning for all the nasty stuff.

 

Aarin squeezed their eyes shut, focusing their attention wholly on the hand holding theirs. Joy. She was here, they would be safe. She would never let anything bad happen to them. 

 

“How much is in?” Hellen asked. 

 

A trolley squeaked its way over to their bedside. Aarin winced at the noise. Their blanket was pulled away. The lack of it made them cold. Joy let go of their hand to help with whatever was taking place. Their heart clenched uncomfortably.

 

“500ml,” Correa replied. “I’ve clamped their catheter. We’re ready.” 

 

Hellen grunted in agreement. The others folded Aarin’s gown up to their chest. Cold air brushed against their skin. The exposure was only momentary. A scratchy blanket was draped over their crotch and thighs. This left only their face and belly exposed.

 

“Aarin, this is the last ultrasound we should be doing prior to extraction. Your follicles are developing nicely. This is just a final check,” Hellen explained. 

 

Aarin didn’t reply. They couldn’t anyway. Joy’s hand took hold of theirs once more. “And I’m here, Aarin. Nothing bad is happening to you all right?” 

 

But everything bad is already happening…

 

Their chest was tender and sore, no doubt the work of the hormones. The cramps they suffered were the worst they ever had. Deep stabbing pain coupled with hot flushes, headaches and nausea. But if they couldn’t speak, nobody knew anything was bothering them. After all, their vitals remained stable, and they had no real injuries. They weren’t even sedated, just somehow comatose. 

 

Just get on with this…

 

Aarin took deep breaths and unhinged themselves from their body. Their mind floated free, throwing themselves into times long past, memories of places far away and long ago. They didn’t want to be present for this. 

 

“You agreed to this,” A stupid word whispered. Not helpful, not helpful at all. Just because they had agreed, it didn’t make this process go any easier or faster. 

 

The military was always going to get what they wanted. It made sense that Fox and Surco wanted their eggs. They had to figure out if this had repercussions to Aarin’s DNA, if those augmentations could be passed on. For all Aarin knew, they might be the parent to a race of super powered children.

 

No, no, no. There’s no danger. When I have kids, I won’t be carrying them. If I have…

​


That thought rang false in their mind. The chances of breaking free of... this was slim at best. And who knew how long it would take. Aarin was certainly not getting themselves out. If Hellen and Malcom had tried, and this problem stumped Surco and Fox, this might well be their fate. There was also the question of resources. When was the higher ups decide enough was enough and pull the plug on them? That thought caught in their throat painfully. 

 

Maybe Garbina was right. They should die. It would be better for everyone.

 

“Just hold on, Aarin. It will be over soon,” Joy whispered. Her brow pressed against their arm, warm, solid and here. Her hair fall over their face, some strands tickled their nostrils. They would have laughed and sneezed and this would all be some stupid roleplay they dreamt up together, except it wasn’t. This was real and they were trapped. 

 

Cold gel was squirted across their belly. That called Aarin back to the present. Ultrasounds weren’t so bad. They had went through this in the lead up to getting the serum. Eggs were harvested then too. Joy was there for those as well. But back then, things didn’t feel so awful. They also had some degree of control, of choice, of the ability to fucking move. 

 

And of course, sedation took the edge of everything. No such luck this time.

 

A wand pressed against their belly. If Aarin could groan, they would have. Their bladder was filled to bursting. At least that’s what it felt like. With a catheter in, peeing had never a problem — until now. 

 

Hellen muttered some instructions. Aarin didn’t catch it, they couldn’t concentrate. They wished this would be over soon. The wand dragged a path across their belly, from the left to the right and back. It poked, it prodded, it tried to bore a hole through their gut. That made them extremely aware of the amount of urine sloshing around inside. If they could void their bladder on the bed, they would have. Fuck the mess. 

 

“Almost there, Aarin. You’re almost done. It’s not so scary right?” Joy whispered, pressed her lips against their knuckles. 

 

It’s not scary with you here, but… fuck I need to pee.

 

“When you recover, when the world recovers, we can go far away, retire and chill at the hut by the seaside like we talked about,” Joy went on, heedless of Aarin’s silent replies. 

 

Aarin sighed. I would like that. The hut and just us. We don’t need anyone else. We don’t need anything else. But even those thoughts tasted like lies. They no longer held hope for recovery. For the world, sure, maybe. But not for themselves. Despite their pessimism, Joy’s words offered a temporary reprieve. However tenuously, they held tightly onto the wavering image of a shared future with her.

 

----

 

Something was up. The flurry of activity around Fei had increased. Usually by this time, he would have already had his breakfast, but today he was laying here, feeling hungry. 

 

Is it happening today? That had to be it. 

 

The privacy curtains parted and closed. That’s always a precursor to something. “Fei, it’s me, Malcom.” Fei held himself still. The curtain parted again and more footsteps shuffled up around him. 

 

Fuck.

 

Hands started fiddling with the tubes and wires. Air was forcibly pushed into his lungs for a little while. Alarmed and afraid, he wished Aliana was here. She would have explained what she was going to do before doing it. 

 

“We’re transferring you to the surgery suite for the extraction,” Malcom said belatedly. “Don’t worry, we will make sure your O2 stats are up.” 

 

The tube that breathed for Fei was disconnected. For the first time, his lungs weren’t moving. He couldn’t breathe. It was stupid to panic. On a good day, he could hold his breath for a minute easily. But taken unaware and unprepared, he could only freak out. 

 

No! I can’t breathe. Please!

 

The tube down his throat was shifted and adjusted. It scraped and chaffed. Just as suddenly as it was denied to him, blessed air rushed into his lungs once more. “We’re ready,” Minas said. 

 

A hand patted Fei’s shoulder. He didn’t know who it was. It wasn’t Malcom because his voice came from the foot of the bed. “Okay, let’s get this over with.” 

 

The bed moved for what seemed like forever. Eventually, it stopped. Hands pulled the sheets around Fei and lifted him up and over. His original softer bed was replaced by a cold hard table — an operating table

 

“Get the stimulator prepped,” Malcom instructed. “And the other rig too, just in case manual stimulation doesn’t work. His bladder has been prepped right?” 

 

“Yes, we have already cleared out all urine and limited his water intake. He has also been fasted,” Zohar replied. 

 

“What about the wash?” Malcom’s voice shifted further away. There was the snap of gloves over hands. 

 

“Yes, already irrigated and washed,” Minas replied. He chuckled. “Never thought I’ll see this. End of the world, and here we are jerking a corpse off.” 

 

“Minas,” Malcom barked. The tension in the wake of that single word was thick enough to cut. 

 

But Fei’s mind was elsewhere. 

 

It was happening. It really was. He was sure it would be no different than the last time. A jerk off, that’s all. Easy enough.

 

Malcom is just going to touch me. Or something. Or use that stimulator Aliana did the last time. It would be fine. Respectful even.

 

“Out, Minas. If you can’t even bother to show Fei some respect for what he had done for us, for humanity.” Malcom growled. 

 

“Doc, it’s just a joke,” Minas protested. 

 

“Everything is “just a joke” when it’s convenient. Otherwise, it’s others being sensitive. Consider this: it’s the end of the fucking world, and here you are making fun of a man who has sacrificed everything to save lives. Doesn’t that make you ungrateful?” 

 

Zohra sighed and hissed at Minas. “Come on, you can go take a breather.” 

 

Two pairs of feet departed, one more reluctant than the other. Only a fraught silence remained. Fei was grateful that Malcom had defended them, but it was thin comfort given what was going to happen. For a long while, there was no sound. It was like Malcom wasn’t there. But a heavy sigh eventually broke the silence. 

 

“Sorry, Fei. I didn’t mean to lose my temper like that. It’s just been very hard recently. Without your squad... We are losing more people than we are saving.” 

 

Oh... Sorry... I guess that’s why there’s a rush huh?

 

Another call for volunteers must have gone out. Who would have stepped up to the plate this time? His older sister, Ruo, would probably go for it despite his eldest sister’s, Xin’s misgiving. Ruo must be getting all of Xin’s fury now, especially now that he was in this state. He was all bravado and fearlessness then, now he worried for Ruo, for Aliana, for the others. 

 

If this is the last thing I can contribute, what do I have to lose? Spoken aloud inside his head, he didn’t sound as convicted as he thought he was. 

 

A couple of instruments shifted against each other as one was lifted off a tray. A switch was flipped somewhere, and a hum filled the air. It clicked off quickly after. A gloved hand rested on his arm for a moment — Malcom’s. “Let’s get started. Bet it’s not comfortable to be laying here. I’m... I’m going to pull your gown off okay?” 

 

Sure. Maybe it will even be pleasurable.

 

Fei couldn’t help but jump when Malcom pulled the blanket off. His gown followed. Naked, he was as naked as the day he was born. Nobody had bothered to put on an underwear for him. Why would they? It was only more work to take it off and put it back on when they had to tend to his needs.

 

Fei gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. He prayed it would go quickly. The theatre doors creaked open. “Oh good, you’re back. I need you to collect the sample while I stimulate Fei. ” 

 

“Yes, doctor,” Zohra replied. She snapped on some gloves and placed some drapes over Fei’s chest and legs to give him the illusion of modesty.

 

“We’re going to remove the catheter now. It might burn a little.” 

 

A hand took hold of his penis. Fei shuddered. The other hand pulled on the tube in his penis. He would punch the fucker if he could. And if the situation wasn’t horrible enough, the tube resisted all the fiddling. Eventually, it came free. On and on, it burnt a path as it exited. He bit down hard on his lips. 

 

Fuck…

 

On the verge of tears, the entire catheter came out. All this and they hadn’t even started. A button clicked, and the humming started again. His senses sharpened. The drapes over his body scratched and made him itched. His breathing tube seemed to have swelled up and took up all the space in his throat. He could even taste the antiseptic in the air — sour and acrid. 

 

I can’t do this… I can’t.

 

The rim of a cup was placed between his legs. The hand holding his penis readjusted their grip, and the humming device was pressed against it. The device was two pronged. It wrapped around the top and bottom of his penis, sending vibrations up his entire length. 

 

Fuck…

 

This time, his voice — even in his head — had a different timbre. Fei’s eyes squeezed shut as he held on. His body reacted exactly how the medical team had wanted. Blood rushed to the spot between his legs. It started to swell. Malcom made a noise at the back of his throat. It sounded like approval. The device ran down Fei’s entire length from base to tip and back again. The heart rate monitor beeped a different tone. 

 

“His heart rate is increasing,” Zohra reported. “Do you think he feels this?” 

 

“It isn’t likely. We have tested Fei’s brain waves to different stimulus. Not this perhaps, but his brain waves indicated no consciousness at all. But his body is certainly responding.”

 

No fucking shit.

 

Stiff and erect, Fei knew his penis was forming pre-cum gauging by how slick Malcom’s hand felt on his penis. Pressure built. It was coming, he could feel it. Zohra had better catch the ejaculate because he didn’t want to go through this again. Malcom was merciless. The device was positioned around his glans. The vibrations were shockwaves up his spinal cord. As much as he hated how this was all happening, he couldn’t deny the pleasure that coiled in his gut. 

 

Long minutes stretched. Three minutes, then five and now stretching into ten. The entire process was torture. Fei’s body was tense, tight and on the knife’s edge of an explosive orgasm, but nothing was happening. The pressure mounted and mounted. 

 

I’m going to die. This is going to be how I die… Fuck… what a way to go.

 

The humming stopped, the vibrations along with it. “Damn, it isn’t working,” Malcom remarked. He let go of Fei’s penis. It fell heavily against his abs, slick, stiff, reddened and very tender.

 

“Is this normal?” Zohra asked. “Men don’t take this long to ejaculate right?” 

 

“This isn’t normal. But then again, which part of super soldiers is normal?” Malcom shifted around and his voice drifted away. “I need to consult with Dr. Fox. Please keep an eye on Fei, just in case he ejaculates.” 

 

Argh! Fuck!

 

Setting aside the indignity of everything, he was left now with this little problem. With how sensitive he felt, It didn’t feel so little. Hanging on a cliff’s edge, all he needed was just a split second with that device to tip him over. 

 

Malcom, come back and fucking finish the job!

 

The minutes dragged by excruciatingly slowly. Zohra sighed and paced and stoped and repeated all of that again. Fei couldn’t tell if she was anxious about his condition or just embarrassed for him. Either way, she wasn’t dealing with a raging hard on, so he had very little sympathy for her. 

 

----

 

Where’s Joy?

 

The gurney Aarin lay on moved. They could feel every uneven surface of the flooring as they travelled down the corridor. Hellen had said, “We’re harvesting the eggs today. Don’t worry, we will be respectful.” 

 

And after that, it was hands that touched, that moved, that shifted. Nobody gave another bit of information. Aarin was sedated before they arrived at the operating theatre the last time. They barely remembered anything. 

 

Is Joy coming? Please tell me Joy will be joining me.

 

A pair of heavy double doors opened. The air inside rushed into Aarin’s nostrils — sharp and medicinal.

 

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

 

“No sedatives this time,” Hellen said. “We can’t spare any for this procedure, given… Given…” She sighed and didn’t finish the sentence. Nobody else spoke. Aarin wasn’t reassured in the slightest. 

 

“Okay, let’s get them on the table.” In a chorused countdown, Aarin was shifted once time. This time, their back rested on a table. Someone fiddled with the various tubes they were hooked up to, while another pulled their arms perpendicular to their body and loosely strapped them down to the table. This was it. 

 

Why are you doing that? This procedure isn’t that horrible right?

 

Fear curled their tongue. Even though, they were at the moment at everyone else’s mercy. There was a certain dread that came from being restrained. A blanket draped over their body, and their gown was removed. Another strap went around their waist. It was going to happen no matter what they did. 

 

“We’re going to put your legs on the stirrups now, Aarin,” Hellen said.

 

A pair of hands on each thigh, they spread Aarin’s legs wide. Their legs were secured to cold metal. They shivered. Hellen kept up a running commentary for their sake. Despite that, they couldn’t help but feel anxious. Someone rubbed their arm comfortingly. But it made Aarin tense. Their nerves were already keyed all the way up. 

 

“Let’s start with some lube,” Hellen said as she snapped on a pair of gloves. 

 

Despite being warned about it, Aarin jumped when something wet and cold hit their labia. 

 

Oh fuck, fuck, fuck…

 

Aarin squeezed their eyes shut. They had a healthy functioning libido, and it had been some time. Even if it wasn’t Hellen’s intention, that meagre bit of stimulation was building a heat between their legs. 

 

“Aspirator needle,” Hellen called out. 

 

“Here,” Correa answered. 

 

The silence between their words hung heavily in the air. Aarin tensed up in anticipation. A warm hand reached towards their privates, fingers spread their labia apart. Fists clenched, they went all stiff. 

 

“We’re going to start, Aarin. Brace yourself,” Hellen spoke out loud. “Introducing the ultrasound probe.” 

 

Something thick and hard pressed up against Aarin’s vagina opening. They gasped and tried to move away from the intrusion, but strapped down and paralysed, they were helpless. With their breath lodged painfully in their chest, the probe twisted its way inside. Hellen took care to go slow, allowing them — their muscles — to relax and get used to the girth of the probe. Eventually, it was seated inside. 

 

Now what?

 

This was merely the beginning. The stool creaked as Hellen shifted her weight. The probe shifted left and right as if seeking and not finding what she wanted. Sometimes, it dove deeper , sometimes it squirmed out. The heat in their groin built regardless of Aarin’s wishes. But there wasn’t enough friction or stimulation to do anything but to work them up. 

 

“Ahhh… Here we go. The first one,” Hellen said softly, as if she was talking to herself. 

 

Aarin grunted. An increased pressure mounted against their insides. That was followed by a pinching sensation. They breathed as evenly as they could through it while a hand rubbed their arm. “It will be over soon. Hang in there,” Correa soothed. 

 

No it wouldn’t. I’m going to feel every single of the fifteen eggs you’re going to extract from me.

 

They tipped their head back and did their best to relax. This was going to take a while. Every little shift of the probe was miserable and awkward. The side effects from all the hormones pumped into their body was bad enough. Cramps and nausea that they couldn’t communicate, all those ultrasounds they had to go through and now this. This was just the cherry on top of all that shit. 

 

But after… Aarin held onto the hope this was the light at the end of the tunnel. 

 

“Number two,” Hellen announced. “You’re doing so well, Aarin.” 

 

Aarin settled in for the long haul. 

 

----

 

The doors open with a groan. Two voices approached — Malcom and Fox. 

 

“Ahh yes… I see the problem now,” Fox said. Snapping on some gloves, she took hold of Fei’s penis like it’s a specimen. She shifted it this way and that, examining it. Her touch was entirely clinical and cold.

 

Yet, all Fei had in his mind was to try and rut against her fingers. Disgust filled him. What would Aliana think of him now? Every bit of friction tingled up his spine and still his orgasm yet another inch away. 

 

“I think I might know why Corporal Yu couldn’t ejaculate,” Fox concluded and let go of Fei’s penis. 

 

The moan he let out in his mind was revolting. For once, he was grateful his body couldn’t betray him. 

 

“You do? What about the elevated heart rate?” Malcom asked. 

 

“Let me just…” Fox shifted around and the telltale sound of a picture being taken bounced off the walls. “All right, this will go into the documentation.” 

 

Malcom sighed heavily. Somehow, it felt like he was holding back some choice words. “What exactly is wrong so we can give Fei some relief?” he gritted the question out. 

 

“The steroid treatment must have been the culprit,” Fox explained. “It is administered as part of the serum.” 

 

Their voices swirled around Fei like they were sharks circling him. There he lay, a piece of meat for them to tear into. 

 

Please just fix this.

 

Nobody heard him. Nobody cared to try anyway. He wondered how long did he have to wait before his penis would go soft. Hopefully soon. 

 

“The soldiers were given a super concentrated dose, and it’s blocking ejaculation,” Fox went on. 

 

“So what now? We can’t extract the semen sample you want,” Malcom pointed out. 

 

“Need, not want. But that’s just semantics. I think the next step is to try electro stimulation.” 

 

Wait, wait, wait. What the fuck is that? I don’t need no electro stimulation. Just bring that fucking device, I’ll get there myself!

 

Malcom sighed, but he didn’t voice a protest. It’s almost like he expected it. “All right. I figured something would go wrong, and I’ve prepared for it. Zohra, will you?” 

 

“Yes doctor,” Zohra replied as her voice drifted away from Fei. Another squeaky trolley cried its way over to his side. 

 

Fei’s body went cold all over. Are they really doing this?

 

“Can you assist?” Malcom asked. 

 

“Sure,” Fox replied as water ran in a basin. Fei realised his ordeal was far from over. “What do you need me to do?” 

 

“Help me get him onto his side,” Malcom replied. 

 

The thin excuse of a modesty preserving drapes were removed. Three pairs of hands manhandled him onto his side. His legs were bent at the knees and pushed up towards his belly so that his butt was jutting outwards. Goosebumps broke out across his skin. Already, his hard on was quickly fading. His arousal was rapidly replaced with anxiety and dread.

 

“What about sedatives?” Zohra asked. “We should requisite some for the procedure.” 

 

Fei’s heart soared. Yes, please knock me out. I don’t want to feel this. Please... But Malcom inhaled sharply and didn’t let go of it. Fei’s heart sank lower than he thought possible. 

 

Fox cleared her throat instead. “If we had more resources, I would have already put in the request. But a major depot was hit just last week. There isn’t enough to go around. Given Corporal Yu’s brain waves so far, I’m confident, he wouldn’t be able to feel this.” 

 

No. No! I am here. I can feel everything! Please don’t do this... Just...

 

A hand squeezed Fei’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Fei. We needed whatever we have left for the others,” Malcom whispered.

 

Fuck you, Malcom! Fuck you, Fox! Fuck all of you!

 

“Let’s get this over with. With luck, the improved serum would be able to bring him back to the living,” Fox said, obliviously unaware of the awkwardness of the entire situation. “I’ll collect the sample. Some manual stimulation is required? I’m not familiar with this procedure. I’m not that kind of doctor.”

 

“Yes. You’ll have to milk his urethra with a pumping motion.” Malcom rounded the operation table to the other side. A hand took hold of Fei’s penis again. Fei tried his best to disappear, to sink into oblivion, to just float away from his body. “Like this.” And Malcom pumped his penis. Even with that meagre stimulation, he could feel his arousal returning. 

 

Fuck…

 

Fox hummed. “I understand.” 

 

Malcom’s hand was replaced by a smaller one. Fei cringed. He couldn’t tell what was happening anymore. A tray of instruments rattled and clinked behind him. Someone wrapped a cuff around his arm. It tightened and loosen at regular intervals. Then, someone removed the anal catheter that had been collecting his waste.

 

“Doctor, he’s clean. It’s a good thing we fasted him,” Zohra said. 

 

Malcom grunted his agreement. Then, with two fingers spreading Fei’s butt cheeks apart, something small probed his anus. All of Fei’s attempts to distract himself failed instantly. There was nothing else he could think of except the intrusion. A cold thick liquid filled his hole. Lube. It had to be lube. The small applicator worked its way around his anus, spreading the lube around, preparing the way. 

 

“Inserting the probe,” Malcom announced. 

 

Fei felt something pushed against his entrance. It was double the size of the applicator, bigger than a finger or a thumb. Without being able to see, it felt like a fist was being forced into him. The sensation was odd and uncomfortable as his hole stretched and pulled. Malcom twisted and turned it, slowly working it deeper and deeper and deeper. Fei’s eyes watered. It made past the ring of muscle inside, but Malcom didn’t stop there, he continued pushing it inwards until—

 

A sizzling buzz of pleasure zapped up Fei’s spine. His penis twitched in Fox’s hand. 

 

“I think you found his prostate. His penis is stiffening again,” Fox remarked. 

 

“His heart rate is also elevating,” Zohra reported. 

 

“Still within normal parameters,” Malcom replied. “Proceeding.” 

 

Please let this be quick.

 

With a click, the machine started humming. It started low at first. Fei’s muscles contracted and relaxed at regular intervals. 

 

This isn’t so bad. It’s bearable.

 

But the humming grew louder as the intensity increased. The tingle turned into a sharp stab up his spine and across his groin. 

 

It hurts!

 

His muscles tightened painfully as his back ached. 

 

Please stop!

 

“Milking commencing,” Fox reported as she pumped his shaft. 

 

Fei’s penis wasted no time in getting hard again. Waves of pleasure rushed up his shaft even as his jolts of electricity seared him from the inside out. Any satisfaction he got was instantly cancelled out. Pressure built once more. This time, it was an inexorable tide that wouldn’t be denied. If he wasn’t locked in his body, he would have been howling as he rocked between the two opposite sensations. But he couldn’t, so he just endured. 

 

The machine kept going, the intensity strengthened. Fei screamed inwardly. This was torture, pure and simple. Done by people who had his best interest in their hearts, inflicted upon him by his colleagues and friends. He wanted this to be over, but it didn’t stop. Locked on this rollercoaster, he was forced to see this through come what may. Without anything to anchor him, he was drowning.  It would drown him. It had drowned him. 

 

Everything rushed to a resounding crescendo, and the dam broke. Semen spurted from his penis as his body jerked from the intensity of it. Fox didn’t miss a single bit. This had been what she was after. 

​


Fei’s consciousness fled. He couldn’t say if he had passed out or not. With the way he was, it didn’t make a difference. But a hand still kept a firm hold of his penis, pumping it. Whatever pleasure was there, was long gone. Everything hurt. 

 

Too much… please stop…

 

The probe came out with a wet pop. Lube followed it. Fei felt used and violated. He tried to roll away. Of course, his body didn’t obey. “Do you think there’s any retrograde ejaculate?” Fox asked. 

 

“It’s possible,” Malcom replied. “We will collect it and send it along to you. Zohra, you know what to do?” 

 

“Yes doctor.” 

 

Fox finally relinquished Fei’s penis. But it was replaced by another pair of hands. Fei groaned. 

 

Please leave me alone…. I don’t want to be touched anymore. Please…

 

His wishes wasn’t heard. A tube grazed his urethral opening. Once, twice and it slipped in. Fei cried out. It was too soon. His penis tingled with sensitivity. Urine flowed out of his bladder and into a cup. 

 

“Doctor, the sample looks cloudy,” Zohra reported as she capped the sample cup. 

 

“Irrigate this bladder with more of the sperm wash. I think there’s more in there,” Malcom replied. 

 

Fei’s heart sank. They weren’t done with him. They would never be at this rate. Even after they had taken everything they wanted to, his orifices would still have to be stuffed with tubes again. They would move him, touch him, never leaving him alone. 

 

Tears pricked his eyes. He spent all that effort trying to get someone’s — anyone’s — attention, now that he had gotten it, he didn’t want it anymore.